It’s not you, it’s me!
It actually is!
I can’t tell you how many times people come to me complaining about someone else’s behaviour and way of doing things. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who are irritating in this world, but it’s me that gets irritated, not them. They’re busy going about their business and doing life, none the wiser that I’M getting annoyed by the way they do things or by what they say.
I’m working with a senior executive who was telling me all about the things that are wrong with his team members’ way of doing things and behaving, and how it’s having a negative impact team wide.
I had a choice in that initial conversation: I could comfort him and say ‘there, there, I know it’s hard’ or I could let him know the truth: Other people are getting annoyed because they are being irritated, not because person X or Y is irritating.
Can you see the difference?
I can’t possibly know what would annoy you nor why, because what might annoy you may not annoy someone else. It is your pattern of thought that winds you up;
‘Why won’t he stop talking? Can’t he see I’m trying to do something?’
‘Can’t she tell that that stupid noise is driving everybody mad?’
‘That’s just rude, he should know better.’
and so on…
If you stop and think about why whatever they are doing or saying is annoying you, you’ll probably get a better answer as well as an insight into your own ways of thinking and intolerances.
Yes, you DO have intolerances! We all do!
There is no better way to feel calm with the people around you than to find your own calm and work out what triggers you and why. Having a friendly, welcoming and comfortable working / home environment starts with YOU! You need to be the one that creates the ambient you want around you.
What’s your current environment like? Is it what you want it to be? Hit reply and let me know!
Love and blessings to you xx
P.S. There will be no group coaching sessions in August. I will be working on a new offer for group work so watch this space!